"My Thoughts on Traveling as They Relate to Costco."

<<I don't remember specifically when I wrote this. Probably a few months ago. I just found it. And if you take the time to read it, it will give you a clear expression of the state I had been living in. >>

Some people go abroad for a week. It’s an introduction to something foreign. Quick and exciting. You get to see the surface and experience the culture, without much commitment. Like the sample-tables at Costco. And this makes it fairly fun and enjoyable. Minus the diarrhea because your digestive system didn’t have time to adjust. (See: every spring break missions trip)

Others drop everything and move. Permanently. They have let go of one lifestyle and grabbed completely on to another. The day-in-day-out challenges that make you exhausted and dirty and some people think you are a crazy person, but to others you are a hero. These people are the ones that have invested in the Costco-sized jar of pickles, if you will. You only buy it if you are pretty darn certain you are going to eat all of it. Or die trying. (See: Hudson Taylor, etc.)

And then there is me. And this is what is tough. Really, the hardest thing. I am not “just visiting”. I’m not sampling. I live here now. But, at the same time, I’m not living here forever. There is a timeline. (I can’t eat all the pickles.) And so, here I am, somewhere in between hola and adios, and holding on to life in two different countries because I cannot fully commit to one or the other. And it breaks my heart.